A Poetic Retelling of an Unfortunate Seduction

We kiss on the mouth but still cough down our sleeves...

Fri, 11 Jun 2004 19:19:51 GMT

new lj... www.livejournal.com/~___loveisagun__

yep, so this one is now officially killed. <3

heart.

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 21:02:13 GMT

xredundantx's LJ stalker is xyourx____x!

xyourx____x is stalking you because your LiveJournal is just SO damned interesting. They are also deluded!

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

Chris! Now all you need to do is update sometime, fucko. :>

And here I know seduction breeds, from wanton hearts that would seduce...

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 20:56:04 GMT

Today sucked hardcore. Well, not really. Law was good fun, with the recieving of candy on my part... geography was gay. The assembly was pretty okay... heh. Lunch was... something. Walked around in the rain, talking about being beat off...hahahaha. It was so fucking funny, I wish I could remember some in-depth quotes, but alas... maybe I will later. Math was deliciously gay. God damn, I hateeeee it so much. History was bleh... didn't do anything, just sat there and pretended to write notes... meh. life is boring and miserable.

I don't know what it is that I like about you, but I like it a lot

Wed, 09 Jun 2004 22:16:29 GMT

I'm back, fuckos!
Well, i've been allergetic, and my computer has been broken, but I fixed it with my crazy intelligence. Uhhh... school sucks, I've had a mental breakdown over the last two days. I'm officially getting a job. I need to finish my projects. Gah. I to school just for math today, for the sake of it... because i'm that damn good of a person. Or stupid? Probably the second. But meh. :>

I have nothing to say, I think i'm going to do my work...

This was hard, I think.
Soundtrack to My Life:
1) Opening credits: Led Zepplin - Whole Lotta Love
2) Dreaming about someone scene: Azure Ray - If You Fall
3) Waking up scene: Golden Earring - Radar Love, Bright Eyes - Touch
4) Happy friends scene: Faction - Let's Go Get Cokes, Boney M - Rasputine
5) Driving scene: Dimmu Borgir - Puritania
6) Action/fight scene: Styx - Renegade, or Alexisonfire - 44 Caliber Love Letter
7) Chase scene: Le Tigre - Deceptacon
8) Happy love scene: Bright Eyes - The Calendar Hung Itself, Placebo - Every Me, Every You
8a) Fallen in love: Dashboard - Hands Down
9) Mellow scene: David Bowie - Rock and Roll Suicide
10) Party scene: Blood Brothers - Meet Me At the Waterfront After the Social
10a) Choreographed Dance Scene: Modest Mouse - A Different City
11) Sex scene: Him - Beautiful or Gnarkill - Breaking Into Your House... depends on the sex :>
12) Wedding Scene: uhhh... Billy Idol or the Murderdolls - White Wedding :>
13) Angry/bitter scene: Curl Up and Die - You'd be Cuter If I Shot You In the Face
14) Breakup scene: Bright Eyes - Basketball
15) Evil/Revenge scene: Unanimated - Life Demise (haha)
16) Contemplation scene: The Used - Bulimic, Brand New - 70 x 7
17) Sad/breakdown scene: From Autumn to Ashes - Chloroform Perfume
18) Death scene: Bright Eyes - The Joy In ForgettinG
19) Funeral scene: Straylight Run - Existianlism on Prom Night, Beatles - Let it Be
20) Before Getting Back Together Song: Saves the Day - Freakish
20) Nostalgia scene: Deathcab For Cutie - A Lack of Color, The Who - Teenage Wasteland
21) Closing credits: Thursday - Understanding (In A Car Crash), Led Zepplin - Communication Breakdown

There's an army at my window waiting to lose this fight...

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 00:01:35 GMT

Yeah... soo uhh... today was gay. Got ditched again at lunch, so I just had to wander around aimlessly by myself :<... math test=failed... fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Came home, learned blunt nosegrab fakies where you kick your front foot back and forth... 180 Casperflips... moan. Well, i'm lonesome. I have nothing to say.

Does he walk around all day in school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? says:
____ "hay baybe, wHy dunt u cum 0ver hurr an giv da ____meister sum luvin?"
Does he walk around all day in school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? says:
you "eee oh no! why did i take these date rape drugs!"
Does he walk around all day in school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? says:
____ "mwahahaha *thrust*"
hold me sweetly like the days we bled with love, a red so deep... says:
yup
Does he walk around all day in school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? says:
at least that's how i invision it
hold me sweetly like the days we bled with love, a red so deep... says:
that's how i was hoping it would go anyways
Does he walk around all day in school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? says:
while this guy *points to me* is sitting at home jerking off to fucking gay porn
Does he walk around all day in school with his feet inside your shoes, looking down every few steps to pretend he walks with you? says:
maybe you'll go out back and rub his sick crotch
hold me sweetly like the days we bled with love, a red so deep... says:
good thats where you deserve to be

i love it.

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 23:19:16 GMT

On a scale from 7 to 12, with 9 being the highest, how much do you hate me?

DiS iZ da AnFum, tHrW aLL uR HaNDZ uP!!! LoLZ!

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 02:44:59 GMT

Punk is FUCKING gay.
PuNk FuCK oi!!!11!!one!! PuNk RaWkZoRz t0 dA MaX0rZ LoLZ!! DuNt B LyK dA FaCiSt PrEps (wH0 iz lUZers LOLZ!) bE PuNk RaWk aNd duNt ConForM 2 Ur StaAndaRds! b DifFrreNt bY BuYiNg a Shytl0(anarchy sign)d oF sPikeS Nd PuNk RaWk BaNd ShurTz (ya KnW, lyk BlInk182428, NFG!!!1!!) FUK POZERZ! oh, and the government.

fucktards.

She goes to say I don't care when she knows that I do...

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 01:37:41 GMT

Do you remember old conversations before the facade?
We could let the words flow like our breath
And they say you can't live in the past
But life was so much better then
Cause now I can't even write you a love song
I've already wasted my words
Your eyes may be brown but they're green in my mind
Burning with the jealousy of maturity
But I will wait for you until the sun burns out
And the earth turns as cold as Pluto
And the ice freezes my heart into place
Stattuettes as intriuging as your face
Because If you know love you know loss
If you know hate you need to learn forgiveness
And is it fair to ask one to surrender
Because you can't yet handle relationships?
You said you didn't believe in hate so why don't you prove it?
You said you don't believe in happiness but never gave it a chance
I could be the shooting star to collide and intertwine with your eyes
But we losers can never recieve the prize
How far would you like me to walk before I can start back home
How far will you run in the opposite direction?
Some say I give up too easily but in just the nick of time
But there are some things worth trying past failure...

</3

The greatest lovers were murderers first...

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 23:34:26 GMT

Well... I have a website, an essay, and a seminar all due monday. Ick... i'm so fucked. Bleh, school was a whore. Classes=gay, lunch=gay... I just layed on the sidewalk, and talked to Glenn and the Bagster... beautiful conversations >:/

I hate math and geography so badly. Geography is horrible because I hate doing tedious notes and bookwork and such. Math... is just... indescribable. I hate it so much, i've been driven to doing my work. What the fuck is that?

Went skating with Bill, Glenn, and Krol... was pretty meh... it rained alot. I think for the two and a half hours I was there, we only skated maybe 30 minutes or so. It was funny because Glenn Hatt pro skater kept hurting himself hardcoreally. Beautiful. I learned the sexiest casper flips in the world... moan.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm bored of life, I need something to perk me up or something... *shakes fist* damn you emo, you made me like this!

Everynight I think I certainly won't ever sleep sober or alone...

Mon, 31 May 2004 22:50:13 GMT

Fuck, I want school to be over with so badly. School was gay; the whole working aspect and fucktard people piss me off to no end. I love how if you tell some people not to do something, they seemingly think that means you actually want it more. I fucking hate when people pull my hair, or think they're cool by aggrivating me to death. I hate everybody. Exept you.

Well, fuck me, I think i've officially failed math. I really don't want to take it again. Dammit. Tonight i'm starting my history website... even downloaded the newer version of Photoshop, so I should have some fun with it...

I've given up on alcohol and drugs, I think. They don't do anything to me but bring me down more nowadays. Well, maybe not alcohol... but socially, no more.

I think i'm trading my new Speed Demons and Battalion for this quarterpipe... which I love. I learned blunt pivot rocks on it today. Nollie varial flamingo's across the funbox too. Huzzah.

My mom has a doctors appointment at about 7:30 tomorrow morning... urgh. I think if she's feeling okay and the doctor doesn't say anything bad I might go to the skateatorium... meh.

I'd offer you my hand, it would hurt too much to watch you die

Sun, 30 May 2004 23:30:37 GMT

Woke up around 1ish... i'm so focking tired, late night creepy porn didn't help me sleep too well... ick. Went skating for maybe two hours at the skateatorium... all I did was skate the bank and the quarterpip though... I was so pissed off with all the fucking kids just running around on the funbox and shit... I just had to leave. Came home... just skated around the bank by my house... I can frontside flip on it now... score! I broke a fair bit of the tail off the Element trying to nollie heel varial on it... so I think i'm going to set up another Heartcore deck... all white with some Bright Eyes lyrics on it... orgasmic.

<3

I am not who i've become, but what you make me into...

Sun, 30 May 2004 06:42:27 GMT

sex. is. weird.

Though I didn't know it then, I soon was finding out...

Sun, 30 May 2004 00:07:56 GMT

well... woke up around 2... got dressed... went skating with Shecks and Glenn... I finally got decent 5-0's on anything high... I swear to god, I nollie inward heelflipped at the skateatorium... so sick. came home a while ago... I think me and Glenn are skating this 12 stair flat rail at this empty house tomorrow night... I was going to go tonight, but I don't wanna skate alone. Should get some piccys... should be a fun time... I realized that i'm very stupid about alot of things... I need to do my history and law seminar things... gah.

<3

I'm a bill you pay, I'm a contract you can't break...

Sat, 29 May 2004 03:11:14 GMT

Well.. went to the school... hung around outside for a while... met Glenny... skated around... went to go get something to drink... came back, and they wouldn't let us in because they said we looked stoned. So we vacated the premises... just hung around town... did the sexiest backside bigspin down the postoffice gap... kickflip back nosegrind nollie varial on a parking block... moan. Skated for a while... left at about 10:30... and here we are. I'm tired, and my brothers are fucktards.

<3hearrrrrt

A touch that you can really feel the brokenness inside...

Fri, 28 May 2004 22:12:23 GMT

I'm tired... there's nothing to do... I don't want to go anywhere. I hate everybody. Well, not everybody. But everybody that's interested on doing something tonight. All the cool kids are off at the sock hop at the school... well those people can fuck themselves. Psh... I don't even want to skate... blah. So, here's my fetus.

I adopted a cute lil' emo fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!

Traded true love for insult and injury...

Fri, 28 May 2004 00:45:29 GMT

bleh... i've realized that during the school week my entries are all the same... "bitch bitch school is gay bitch bitch whore bitch." meh. went skating... learned nosepivot rock and rolls, blunt pivots, blunt rock and rolls, and half cab blunts... yeah huh... now i'm bored, so i think i'm going to watch haggard...

somebody go with me to that thing tomorrow...

feel better, damn you. <3

Don’t be afraid of where we go, my love; I promise we'll be fine

Thu, 27 May 2004 00:35:41 GMT

well fuck me, I spent all night doing the bastard paper, and the focking teacher wasn't even there. what. a. whore. anyways... school was gay, Glenn is such a fucking pussy about everything. He gets to the brink of tears if you even look at his bag lady wrong... and then he throws his backpack at me and fucks up my nose... ugh. But all in all, lunch was rather good... 30+ minutes of just laying down the insults on mr. hatt was good... math was a bitch. I fucking hate alot of people in there... just utter fucktards. "I'm cool because i'm a whore laugh out loudzZZ!!1!!!one!!!11!" and the teacher is gay anyways. Bleh... was supposed to go skate with Glenn, but he was being such a douche I just didn't even care... went skating with Shecks... backside half-cab heels on banks \m/

Now i'm bored, and my paper won't print. I hate it... so much.

Hearttt<333

I will remember to remember to forget you forgot me

Wed, 26 May 2004 00:10:22 GMT

Bleh... school was okay... i suppose... gawd i hate stupid people and math soooooo fucking much... combining the two is murder. Lunch was gay... just layed on the sidewalk for most of it... had planned on doing some kidnapping, but that was foiled... i'm surprised I didn't get in trouble for skipping on Friday... heh. After school... I went to the skateatorium with my little brother... wooo nosegrind nollie frontside 180's! I can skate rather good when Hill and Ben are there... I feel like I have to push it... but yeah... I have to do my law paper now... so yeah...

heart<3

it's you... come on, kill me...

Tue, 25 May 2004 00:44:39 GMT

Bleh... woke up far too early... went skating... frontside bigspined on the quarterpipe, killed the fuck outta the 5 stair... skated the post office gap... manny'd this rather large thing... fakie manny shove switch manny... came home, layed around... got my Razorblade Romance and Too Bad You're Beautiful cds back... lyricized my pants some more... and now i'm bored... to death. I should have done my law paper... but i'm fucked because I haven't even started. Due tomorrow... meep.

Give me some lyrics for my pants... please?

<3

In 666 ways I love you, and my heaven is wherever you are...

Mon, 24 May 2004 02:55:30 GMT

Well, the lj is being a whore tonight and not letting me mod it well... so fuck it, and i'll fix it later... i'm tired, hungry, and it's stormy, and i'm scared to go to my room or the kitchen... heh

but you know what? i heart you. rawr.

you make me happy, oh when skies are gray, and gray, and gray...

Sun, 23 May 2004 22:52:20 GMT

this song makes me cry.

bleh.

at least i fixed one thing. thank god.

hmm... went to the park, layed on the slide in the misty rain and wrote a song. walked home... went to shoppers... met glenn... skated the post office gap... b/s and f/s 180, kickflip, b/s shifty, b/s half-cab... just hung around with him... went home, ate fries, and now i'm just sitting around, listening to bright eyes and everybody in my family freak out... "eee tornado warning eee!!"

fucking stupid.

<333 i heart you.

Is that what you call a getaway? Tell me what you got away with

Sun, 23 May 2004 00:10:52 GMT

"I don't understand why the feeling that makes me the happiest is also the feeling that makes me the saddest. Could it be because the biggest fear I have right now is losing what causes that feeling? I feel that it may be inevitable, but I really don't want that to happen. It's so selfish to think that way, but am I really to blame for not wanting to lose what makes me the happiest?"

such a little emo pussy.

I give myself three days to feel better or else I swear that i'm driving off a fucking cliff

Sat, 22 May 2004 23:58:09 GMT

Hmm... woke up, got online, did some discussing... made plans so that when Cortny was ready to do something... I wait a few hours, and growing rather impatient, I get a call from Glenn, who says to go to the skateatorium... then Andre calls, and says to meet him... so I decide to go hang out with them, and I told my mom to tell anybody who calls... so it's about 3 and I went over to Andre's... we downed a beer and then left to meet Glenn... Met him at the skateatorium, went to go get slurpees and foamy candies... got stoned on the playground of the old school... heh. Discussed stuff there, then went back to Andre's to play guitar and eat and watch tv... ordered a pizza... ate, then went back to the skateatorium... skated for a little bit, and who walks by but Cortny. Andre says, "Hey, have you seen Jim today?" which apparently she didn't like. She said she called me, but didn't get through... hmph. Went and got another slurpee, walked home with Andre and Chris, layed down on the Quigbee's grass... then officially left. Came home, skated with Shecks... learned fakie manny bigspins and shove nose manny pivots... word.

I don't get it. I waited and waited, and since nobody calls me and I go out with my friends, people get mad at me. It's too much for me... I just don't get why i'm the one at fault because of it.

Tomorrow should be good, I think i'm getting pissdrunk with Andre, Glenny, and Chrissy in the early morning... so should be rather class. But then again, any time plans are made, they always tend to fuck up...

I hate my goddamn stupidity.

I've killed myself with changes trying to make things better

Sat, 22 May 2004 02:23:17 GMT

ever feel... lonely?

like everybody just hates you and there is nothing to do about it?

i'm over this. i'm becoming an alcholic.

www.heartcoreclothing.com

"You're gay."

From the way that you acted and the way that I felt it, it wasn't worth my time

Fri, 21 May 2004 23:58:12 GMT

and now it's sad 'cause all I missed wasn't that good to begin with...

Well, fuck... today was something... heh. Watched the Breakfast Club in law, took a test which i more than likely failed in Geography... during lunch, I was supposed to sidewalk with Cort, but she apparantly didn't want to anymore or something, so I went, bought some reeferpot, and left with Andre and Jack. Went to the Mac's across town for the foamy candies... we walked through this disgusting ass field and got so wet and gross... but we couldn't sit there, so we walked back, and went to the skateatorium... sat on the top of the quarterpipe and bam! That's where the fun went down... oh baby. Sat there for a while, talked about life and such... it was rather fun... heh, then the cops came and parked right by us... so we freaked the fuck out, and got our stuff and ran... I think we left our socks there... heh. Wandered around town for the longest time... we went back to the school around the time of it ending, because I had intended on walking home with Cort, but didn't... go figure. Just trying to talk to her on the way home didn't work. All I get is rather cynical responses... I just give up. I fucking can't win. I hate it. Walked home with Andre... talked and such, then it started to storm like fuck... parted ways, and I ran home in the horribly hard rain... I was so waterlogged when I got home, it was a whore... came home, slept, and here we are.

2 rather fat joints: $10.00
40 Foamy Candy Things: $2.25
Getting people mad at me for no reason, but having a much better time then I would have had in school: Priceless.

you're "haligh, haligh, a lie, haligh".
you just found out that your significant other
is cheating on you. haha that SUCKS.. go look
in the mirror and contemplate suicide, then i
dunno, cry or something.

which bright eyes' song are you?

Weird...